"She's a Lady, WHOA WHOA WHOA She's a Lady"

Wanna know how to ruin a perfectly good day of striking with irons?  Start to swing with a driver.

Nothing is quite like swinging with the driver.  Nothing will bring down your confidence and have you rechecking your whole swing and have yourself questioning whether you can play golf like swinging a driver.

Which gets to my point.  The driver is the 'hot chick' in the golf bag.  When things are going right, and fellas you know what I'm talking about - nothing is like a good swing with the driver.  The driver is pricey (mad spendy), need fur coats when they're not being used, unforgiving on any mistake, looks nice and shiny and has some wonderful curves.  Just like the hot chick, you see guys all the time walking around the house showing off their 'driver' and spitting out specs like it was a sub-component on the space shuttle.  If the sports car adds 2 inches to the perception of the man's cactus then the driver is the ultimate showboating that almost takes us back to caveman days.  Guys love to pose with it, crossing their feet while putting a slight arm around her to let everyone know she is with him.....wait, am I still talking about golf?   The bragging is through the roof, you let your buddy take a look but never touch ...it's the hot chick in the bag.

But like any hot chick, the good hits are few and far between and you wish you would've never left your irons that consistently put you 150-180 yards and more importantly on the fairway.

How did my first use of the driver go?  Not too bad  - and while I enjoyed the ping of driving a couple of balls 200 yards I realized that my maturity had me yearning for the driver and consistent swings down the fairway.

Other possible names for the rest of the clubs in the bag?

• Putter - 'The Democrat' - likes all the glory but needs very little in the way to be successful
• Sand Wedge - 'The Hooker' - you don't want to be seen with this one as it means you're not in the best of places
• 2 iron - "The Ben Affleck" - Would like to think it had the power of the driver but comes up short too many times to count

I need to play a round now that I've hit with the driver.  I'm gonna see if the wop is up for a quick round of 9 this weekend.  He's a tropical cracker so hopefully it's around 65-70.